Congrats on the new job.

As for the rest of it, you need to protect yourself. Love may be a many splendored thing, but it's never been kind and it isn't everything. Love is the tie that binds you togeather and if he's going down he'll drag you with him. To continue the metaphor, if you don't cut the line and swim for the surface, you'll drown.

It'll hurt but you will find someone new in time. But from what you've been saying these are the days when you need to be more concerned with your life and that of your family than with the troubles of someone who doesn't care enough to try. You can't help someone if they don't want to be helped, and people don't really change all that much. They can change a little here and there but big changes don't really happen that often. What you see in him now is what he will allways be. And the question is, do you want that in your life. Which do you prefer, the pain of loss right now, or a lifetime of pain from fights,  and having to clean up after his missed oppertunities and mistakes? 

Sorry for the downer post, but you shouldn't throw your life away for this guy.

Thanks for the reply. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'm not suicidal, I love my kids way too much to do that to them. I just post while I'm depressed so I can get the thoughts out, much as you do I suppose.

I read your blog as well, and I have to agree with NightGaunt up there. From what I read, I have to say that Brody is no good for you right now. He has kids, but yet insists on spending time on WoW as opposed to completing college/working? Do you want to be with a person that spends his time playing video games instead of going to class or working or instead of spending time with his kids? (I remember a post some time ago when he was served with papers concerning his kids, if I'm wrong, my apologies.) Do you think that you could handle it if you became pregnant, and then he abandoned you? A persons kids should be their main priority in life.

I am of the belief that a person should wait until after college to get married. How much have you changed since we left high school? Since you started college? Do you think you'll be the same person in the future?  People change over the shortest amount of times, and I believe its best to wait until after college when you'll have a degree and wont have to rely on a person to help you get through the day to day life of paying bills.

I'm sorry, but if your having these problems with Brody now, it'll only get worse on down the road. This isn't about proving people wrong, or giving up on a relationship, or giving up on a future, its about forging a path to becoming the person you want to be. And for you to be going through these problems with your family and your mom, and Brody isn't helping relieve stress by not getting a job or not getting into college, is he trully the person that you see yourself with? Or is it the prospect of being in love and married? Because marriage is just a title and a piece of paper, what you're doing right now with him, living with him, sleeping with him, and participating in events with friends, thats exactly what you would be doing as a married couple. Could you see your husband doing these things?

Sorry if I'm speaking out of place, I really dont know either of you personally (at least anymore) as you don't know me, but I don't want to see you be dragged down by dead weight when you can do better.